It hurts really, when all that's left in you, is that numb feeling.
Well, I'm left with unspoken words. One may say, just reveal the truth even how hurt it would be. Could it be the truth, of what I am feeling now? For what my heart keep forcing me to decide. Is leaving is the best choice, or should I bear it all like how I always thought I coped up with? Is staying for a little longer would mend things all over again, or is giving up would give me the sparks of hope and happiness which I've been hoping all this while? I have always thought that somehow someday, things will get a whole lot better. That I would feel no more heartache, that I will no more have to restrain myself from telling him things when all I want is for him to know everything, every inch and every details. And some may say, why don't you just tell him like how you wanted to. Just how easy people would say that, it's just too hard for me. Because I'm used to be told how all those things are not worth it, not worth of my mind to be think of. I've been living life not being able to say how I actually feel, I've been telling lies of how I am always okay with everything when I am not. People expect me to move on when they know nothing of those hard times. And the one in it, keep being mad at me for living in my past. What created me now, is the result of what I may say, mental abuse, traumatized and untreated soul. My heart aches for a really long time, sometimes I feel like there's no hope that I'll be okay. I've lost interest in almost everything. There's nothing in my heart for you to see, except all those stitches, the scars, the wound.POSTED BY FF ON Monday, June 10 @ Monday, June 10, 2019
